In my recent article, What Is Happening to Young Men?, I explored some of the challenges affecting the mental health of young men. One growing concern deserves particular attention: the rapid expansion of online gambling and the normalization of sports betting.

A recent CBC News article, “The mental health of young men is declining. Experts warn it could get worse,” drew attention to something that has been developing in Canada for some time: many young men are not doing particularly well.

The numbers deserve attention.

A mentor is not necessarily a friend. A mentor is someone who is a little further down the road; someone who takes an interest in your growth, challenges you when needed, and offers guidance that comes from experience rather than theory. 

For many boys and men, that kind of relationship can be life changing. 

Many men want more confidence. Not because they want to be the loudest person in the room. Not because they want power over other people. 

They simply want to trust themselves more. 

They want to feel more comfortable in their own skin. More capable at work. More confident in relationships. More certain that they can handle whatever life throws at them. 

Most of the men I work with do not come to counselling because they think they have an anger problem. 

They come because their marriage is struggling. Because they feel disconnected from their spouse. Because they are stressed at work. Because they are carrying the weight of providing for their family. Because they feel exhausted, stuck, or overwhelmed. 

Sometimes anger enters the conversation later. 

Why are so many men struggling with friendship, connection, and community? 

What has changed? 

And perhaps more importantly, what can be done about it? 

If there is one thing I have learned from sitting with men over the years, it is that many of them are far lonelier than the people around them realize. 

On the surface, things may look fine. They have careers. They have families. They coach hockey teams, volunteer in their communities, attend church, go to the gym, or show up for work every day. They are functioning. They are responsible. They are doing what is expected of them. 

Young man with arm tatoo.

Aviation Document and Captain’s Epauletts.

Shame is one of the most powerful and misunderstood forces shaping human behaviour. In my work as a mental health professional, I see its impact across many settings—within families, religious systems, recovery spaces, and the broader culture we all live in.

For many men, life has always felt a little harder than it should. You may have been capable, smart, or even high-performing — yet still struggled with overwhelm, frustration, or a sense that you were constantly “behind.”

Only recently have many men begun to understand that these challenges can be the result of ADHD, Autism Level 1, or both, especially when these patterns were missed in childhood.

Aviation has always been driven by learning from data.
Every checklist, every procedure, every system in the cockpit exists because we study what works and correct what doesn’t.
The same principle should guide medical policy.

Having pilots with ADHD properly diagnosed, treated, and monitored doesn’t weaken safety. It strengthens it — because truth and treatment are always safer than fear and concealment.